Grand Opening Postponed For Health Violations

Body Burger, the area's newest restaurant, has had to postpone their scheduled grand opening after health inspections determined that cooking  burgers solely with body heat is a major violation.

Prior to canceling the grand opening, Body Burger gave away free samples to spark interest in the eatery. Reviews ranged from "Truly unappetizing" to "Absolutely terrible" to "Why...".

The health inspection report, considered an "opinion" by the owners of Body Burger, has caused management to look to hire a new cook. They figure that since 98 degrees is not enough to cook burgers thoroughly, they will only hire meat preparers who are experiencing a fever of over 100 degrees.

For more information on Body Burger, stop in the restaurant from 4-1 on April 1st.